Lets talk Spiritual Hygiene, Personal Values and being Heart Centred

I was having a conversation with the owners of a lovely B&B in Glastonbury a few weeks ago, and I found myself expressing about Spiritual Hygiene. It was like a light bulb turned on in their brains... they said "YES! that is exactly what it is... spiritual hygiene"

We were talking about the spiritual world and the people who are drawn to the wonderful town of Glastonbury, England.

The Lady of Avalon, at Goddess House, Glastonbury

Firstly the town is incredible, I really love the place and all its history, folklore and the magic the land itself exudes. The shops are all independent and many are full of beautiful hand crafted items.

I digress!

I came up with the term Spiritual hygiene quite recently, I was trying to explain what I was seeing around me, in the 'spiritual' circles I was moving in. The start of this understanding was a few years ago, at a sound bath. I had been to a sound bath before, and had a lovely experience - just bowls, gongs and a beautiful setting to explore my inner world.

but another sound bath I went to, was a whole different experience. I was the first to arrive. I greeted the organiser and settled down on my mat... I felt uncomfertable, but I didn't know why. I just put it down to a new event in a new location and I didn't really know what to expect, pft, that was that shrugged off. But as the evening went on, the feeling returned. Not so much as for me to want to leave, but a gentle nudge, that something was off and to be alert. Something was off and I was alert. At the end I couldn't leave fast enough. I got in the car and called my partner Darren. As I was expressing to Darren and telling him what happened, I was understanding how my boundaries had been knocked down. I remember saying to him how it felt like everyone around me was in a cult! just blindly following orders, no sense of self, just happily being lead and told what to do and what to feel. uhh uuu... no way, not on my watch pumpkin!

I am a fairly intelligent person, and what I am very proud of and have nurtured, is my sense of self, my boundaries, and my deep understanding of emotional literacy. After this event, it was clear to me how the 'spiritual' community have just as many shadows and mask their demons too, just like the many others. BUT the scariest part.. the bit which made me sad... was how others just took the 'leaders' word as gospel, entranced, wide open and ready to just jump in. This was NOT| spiritually hygienic at all. It was dirty, dark, shadowy and just dodgy AF if i'm being honest. No one was prompted to come to their breath, their centre, or to connect with their physical or emotional body, at any point. The others just sat and gave themselves away, and it did make me think, is this what a cult is like?!!! A few of my lessons have come from understanding polarity, so this was the one side ... what is the polar opposite?... that way, we are likely to find our own balance in a situation.

Magdeline Temple Retreat with Lisa Bardell, at Goddess House, Glastonbury

So I think the best way to describe good spiritual hygiene is how I would describe an emotionally balanced and Heart centred person, because.. it does really come down to individuals here. 1) Are they self aware- enough to see their demons and work on them

2) Do they have personal values, which shows in all that they do 3) Are they centred in their sense of self

4) Someone who is heart centred, will speak from their wisdom, experience and Heart, without judgment or projection, but from a place of openness. be mindful if they have an agenda to push or something to sell which is coming out through their ego. 5) Are they able to emotionally regulate and control their emotions. Without all of these - an individual is likley to be living from a state of Trauma. I know this, because this was me at one point! But I didn't want that to be my story, I knew it wasn't 'me' so I worked damn hard to switch that up and find my peace... and with that, came Sovereignty! When people have unhealed or unacknowledged trauma, this can come out in many ways. but in my experience, the list above, will help you steer clear of those who are spiritually unhygienic!

So coming back to my story about Glastonbury. Many people are drawn to Glastonbury, for those of us who are on a path of self discovery, or who lean towards spiritual beliefs, holistic lifestye, that kind of thing, it is an incredible place, with so much to offer. But, as with most things, there is this spiritually unhygienic shadow side, which I am seeing more and more out in the world and in the spiritual community.

Just because someone is a holistic practitioner, astrologer, shamanic healer, reiki master... or anything like that, doesn't mean they have done their own inner work. When we seek healing like this, it is becuase we are looking for just that, healing. Along with improvement, insight, wisdom etc. We are already going into the relationship with these types of individuals as the one who is looking up to them and having an expectation of what they can do for us. We may not like to admit it, but we are in a vulnerable position here, so it is were we need most be on the watch for the cleanliness! So how can we tell is someone has good spiritual hygiene?

I've listed some green flags here, and things which can help us go forth with due dilligence:

1) Don't be swooned with their apparent wisdom, take time to understand if you are resonating with their offering, or if your just be-dazzled and think it 'sounds' good.

2) on the wisdom point again.... qualifications are great, but not always necessary. a wise woman once shared with me how it is a very westernised thing to have a piece of paper for something that we are innately gifted at. So FEEL into this persons offering, is it something they clearly live and breath, or is it something they did a quick course on, to add it to their list of 'Skills'. these are two extremes, so you may need to do some digging here.

3) What are their Personal Values? Many practicioners share their values on their website, or social media profile. one of my Values is Serenity, so women see this when I advertise my Red Tent, they know that I will aim to create a Serene space for this. Like with the Polarity thing I mentioned earlier... you can also understand what you value, by seeing what you don't.

4) What do they speak out about? another social media snoop here... are they always sharing positivity quotes? or are they an active voice for themselves and the work they do.

I mean we all love a good quote right... but when this is all they consume, it makes me wonder where the real personality is, that they have to hide behind a wall of flowers quotes and happy happy things. its just not real life is it! (a big red flag for me is when they go along with the crowd).

5) How do they speak and interact with you.

We can see, feel and understand so much from just one conversation with someone. Your gut, heart and brain will let you know.

Things to look out for: Are they pushing their opinions onto you? Are they controlling the conversation so its all about them or their vision?

There is so much more I could write here, but I will save it for another post.

It really is a topic I am passionate about, because I have seen the damage, in myself, and in others close to me. So I really hope this is valuable information for you.

I'd love to know your experience with this, so feel free to share with me, if you feel called to.

So much love and light to you!

xxxx Daisy xxxx